Six Nations 2011 Round-Up and Andrea Masi Banter

Yes, I realise it is now a week since the Six Nations has finished. However, given I don't get paid for this and there has been a LOT of good stuff on the television, cut me some slack.

Brian's still got it. Despite the silly face.

In conclusion, England didn't win the Grand Slam, France are yet to sack Lievremont and Wales proved the theory that empty vessels make the most noise. Scotland were neither as good or bad as we had all hoped. And Italy managed to build on their historic victory over France by losing to Scotland. Peaks and troughs, I suppose.


So what have we learnt from the 2011 Six Nations? Here are some learning outcomes from this years tournament.


1. England need Riki Flutey to get fit fast!


While I wish to take nothing away from Mike Tindall, a man so committed to the game that he has cancelled his honeymoon, his skill set is one of a juggernaut rather than one of a graceful magician. After his re-call to the England set up, he has been playing well both for club and country. But he is a simple rugby player, and his lack of sparkle is a problem in a team which lacks real creativity beyond Flood.


Hape is in the team to act as the big-running, soft-handed, creative centre. England's very own Sonny Bill Williams. Problem is, he cant kick, rushes up in defence and tends to go very quiet in important games.


But then again, who else is there? The 33-man Elite Player Squad contains just THREE centres, (Tindall, Flutey and Hape) and looking around the Premiership, there is little real quality bursting through.


Matthew Tait is a much better player than the one taught a lesson by Gavin Henson back in 2006 (lets not forget, he was inches away from winning a World Cup),  but he has hardly shone for Sale this year. Anthony Allen and Brad Barritt are hardly poor players, but can you really imagine them making Ma'a Nonu, Jean de Villiers et al, nervous before a game?


Given the recent rush for teams bringing back players from sepia-tinted days of old (Lehmann to Arsenal, Lewsey to Wasps) perhaps it isn't too late to bring back Will Greenwood? He still gets stuck in....

2. Warren Gatland needs to stop talking. 


Oh Warren. You arrived to such fanfare back in 2007 and you delivered. Another Grand Slam, and Welsh rugby was looking forward to a return to the glory days of the '70s. You were on top of the tree, happily casting your wild and inaccurate opinions about other teams and players with gay abandon. And that was fine while you were winning. As David Haye proved, if you win, you are allowed to be a bit rude.


The problem, Warren, is that now you aren't winning and your team is virtually unrecognizable from the side that made the 2008 tournament such a joy to watch. Moving James Hook to 10 was only a success in that he didn't collapse under the pressure or play like Bergamasco did at scrum-half and Jamie Roberts is making a huge claim for the recall of Gavin Henson.


If you are to stay as Wales coach, pay more attention to your own team. There is some quality in there, but focusing on Dylan Hartley isn't going to win you any friends, or matches.


3. Brian O Driscoll has been sent from the future to save Irish rugby.

"O'Driscoll has 118 test caps, 112 for Ireland (75 as captain), and 6 for the British and Irish Lions.^[2][4] During this time he has scored 44 tries for Ireland and 1 try for the Lions in 2001, making him the highest try scorer of all time in Irish Rugby.^[2][5] He is 8th-highest try scorer in Rugby Union history, and the highest scoring centre of all time. He holds the Six Nations record for most tries scored with 25.^[6][7] He has scored the most Heineken Cup tries (29) for an Irishman. O'Driscoll was chosen as Player of the Tournament in the 2006, 2007 and 2009 RBS Six Nations Championships. 

Cheers Wikipedia, case closed. 

This does present the opportunity to feature this clip, as well. Enjoy; 

4. Scotland are still quite rubbish. 


Yes, they beat Italy. Yes, the scoreline against England did them a couple of favours. And yes, Max Evans and Sean Lamont are pretty good. But Scotland still insist on producing dire, dull, depressing rugby. For years, they have relied on the metronomic boot of Chris Paterson to keep them in matches. This hasn't really changed. For all the pre-tournament bluster, they lack the fundamentals to consistently punish teams. In Max Evans and Sean Lamont, there is hope. And youngster Rudriah Jackson (despite having a name more suited to the Scrabble Board)  is more Gregor Townsend than he is Dan Parks, but the lack of stability in the scrum is severe worry for a country that prides itself on coal-face rugby. 


Their match against Wales was one of the lowest quality games I have seen in a Six Nations. 


On the plus side, Richie Grey is going to be world-class. You heard it here first. (well, you didn't, but it's what everyone else has said so its been replicated here for the look of professionalism.)


5. And the Six Nations Player of the Tournament is......... Andrea Masi? 


Stadio Flaminio against France. But he would probably not be in the top 10 players of this years tournament had it not been for the sneaky sausages at the IRB changing the rules on public voting. 

In the misty days of old, voters cast votes on a selection of players who the organizers thought had stood out from the crowd. Yet, those Luddite ways have been thrown aside for a system where the Man of the Match from each game is automatically nominated, and you must chose from that collection. Anti-English sentiment was always going to deny either Ashton or Flood, but no Richie Grey, no Sergio Parisse, no Willam Servat (or in fact, ANY of the awesome French front row). The fact that he is the first Italian to win the award is refreshing, but to be honest, it's the wrong Italian. As these talking-heads will testify to.

Imagine them at Karaoke after a few bevvies

As all good things must come to an end, so must all convoluted Six Nations blogs.Yet, fear not, oh literary traveler, as this is not the end of the Poorly Written Sports Blog. There will be plenty more to come, so keep a look-out!


I hope you have enjoyed this so far. I will be including more original video content (interview, match highlights and the like) with a mixture of local, national and international sports news. Rugby, of course, is the main sport for this blog, but other sports will make an appearance from time to time. 


Stay Classy. 

Obligatory Six Nations 2011 Dream Team Blog Entry...

As the Six Nations rushes towards its conclusion, with the speed and force of a Tuilagi brother, there are just two games remaining, and it is nice to see the universe slowly returning to normality after the madness of the last few years, in which we saw Scotland score tries and Ireland fail to collapse under the pressure.

England are still on course for their first grand slam title since 2003, Scotland and Italy are fighting like Dickensian orphans over the last remaining scraps of credibility that avoiding the wooden spoon affords, Ireland and Wales return to the mid-table mediocrity from whence they came, and Marc Lievremont appears to base his selection policy on... well... we aren't entirely sure. Perhaps something like this.... Either way, even proper journalists from big papers don't approve.

Lievremont has at his disposal some of the best players in the world, and they certainly have the ability to make some serious waves in the up-coming World Cup. But something in the coaching staff needs to change...

Meanwhile, Wormtongue and  Marc Lievremont
plot to overthrow Hobbiton

Jo Maso and King Theoden of Rohan
discuss tactics

The benefit of hindsight is a marvellous thing, and it is with great relief that this entry comes three games into this Six Nations campaign. My fantasy Six Nations team is currently wallowing deep, deep down the league table as my pre-tournament selections have proved to not live up to expectations. So in the spirit of igniting debate, controversy, or most likely, apathy, here is my selection of the Team of the Six Nations 2011 so far.

1. Thomas Domingo (France) - His performance against Scotland,  where he took Euan Murray and taught him the sort of lesson he won't get down at Sunday school, was key in producing one of the most dominant scrummaging performance seen during a  Six Nations tournament. 
2. Dylan Hartley (England) - Has been the focus of all anti-English sentiment in this Six Nations tournament. The combative hooker has shouldered all the pressure and consistently put in performance after performance. Only keeps William Servat out due to the responsibility on his shoulders.   
3. Nicolas Mas (France) - The man who was born to play prop has been Domingo's partner in crime and his equal. Thankfully for France, Lievremont have been consistent here. 
4. Alastair Kellock (Scotland) - Scotland are as one-track minded as a teenager in a strip club, but in order to play their game they need the set pieces to fire well. Kellock has been majestic in the line-out, helping Scotland to top the statistics for ball won at the line-out. 
5. Tom Palmer (England) - Palmer has had something of a renaissance in the last few months and it has shown in an England team who can now challenge the best in the world. Superb in the line-out, brutally strong in the loose, Palmer has arguably been the power behind the throne in the successes of the England side. 
6. Thierry Dusautoir (France) - Some players are indispensable. France has always been blessed by excellent loose forwards, and Dusautoir could well be the best of the professional era. His tackle count (41 so far) is unbelievable, his work rate phenomenal. One of the most complete players on the planet. 
7. Sam Warburton (Wales) - A rare flicker of hope in the Pandora's box that has been Wale's Six Nations. For a team who talk the talk, it is only Warburton and Lydiate who have walked the walk in the Welsh pack. Martyn who? 
8. Nick Easter (England) - In a tournament that contains Jamie Heaslip, Chabal, Harinordoquy and Mars, the god of War, it may be a surprise to see Nick Easter's name. However, the burly Englishman has been excellent, taking the responsibility of English ball-carrying and making the hard yards look easy. 
9. Ben Youngs (England) - While Morgan Parra is arguably the better overall player, Lievremont has once again starved the talented young man of a consistent run at the No.9 shirt. Youngs hasn't quite showed the form he had in the Autumn, but his partnership with Flood is proving to be rather fruitful. 
10. Toby Flood (England) - The King is dead... Long live the King. The Wilkinson era appears to have finally passed, and Flood is playing quite brilliantly. His kicking game is almost faultless and he glides around the park with gazelle-like pomp. Head and shoulders above the other fly-halves in the tournament. 
11. Chris Ashton (England) - 6 tries, 3 games. The second highest try scorer is Morgan Stoddart with 2. 
12. Max Evans (Scotland) - Unfortunately, there has been something of a dearth of centres in this tournament. Whereas in 2010, Jannick Jauzion oozed class and Rougerie destroyed defenders, 2011 has seen those two fail to sparkle, Roberts and O'Driscoll have been fairly quite and Shontanye Hape is...well...Shontanye Hape. Evans leads the stats for defenders beaten (13) and second for off-loads (7) and his sparkling pace has caused opposition defenders all sorts of problems. 
13. Mike Tindall (England) - The much-criticised player has become the praised stand-in captain. Tindall never takes a backward step and his passion and drive more than make up for his lack of attacking flair. And when you have Ashton on the wing, you could probably play Nellie the Elephant at centre and still score tries. 
14. Mirco Bergamasco (Italy) - Part sympathy, partly justified. Without Parisse and Bergamasco, it is unlikely there would be a Six Nations. Italy would be playing against teams like the Netherlands on pub car-parks instead of the glorious Stadio FlaminioStoddart almost makes it as well. 
15. Ben Foden (England) - Took his crucial try against France brilliantly and has been an absolute certainty under the high ball, despite his small stature. Hasn't quite showed off his excellent running skills, but perhaps the upcoming game against Scotland is his time to shine. 

Who would be in your team?

Do you agree or disagree with these selections?  Feel free to leave comments below! 

Belated Updates And A Tribute To Ben Cohen (No, Seriously...)

England 17- 9 France 


Jonny Wilkinson may no longer be England's first choice 10, but it is doubtful there is another nation that has that ability sat on the bench.

The memory of England out-grafting and out-muscling France is one that is clouded by what can only be described as a truly biblical hangover.And one which afflicted me for the majority of the weekend. It appears that the inevitable decline into old age hits us all. Gone are the heady days of a weekend fuelled only by gin, a 'popular energy drink' and Ginsters pasties.

While this is hardly the most professional approach to maintaining a world-renowned sports blog,  (368 views and counting) it is probably one that most rugby enthusiasts can appreciate.

So, given the news that former England international and British Lion Ben Cohen has been told he is surplus to requirements at Sale Sharks, it seemed only right that this blog looks back on the career of a player who was, for a time, arguably the best winger in the world.

Chris Ashton may be under the spotlight for his extravagant celebrations, but Cohen made swallow-diving look easy all the way back in 2002 and only Rory Underwood and Will Greenwood have scored more tried for England.

His off-field actions, however, have led him to become something of a figure of fun in the eyes of English rugby fans. His petulant departure from Northampton has certainly tarnished his reputation with the vast majority of Saints fans, and his apparent obsession with taking his clothes off, while making my mother very happy, has somewhat distracted from his on-field successes.

Cohen brought a new style of wing-play to English rugby. Where previously, English wingers were fast, small and nimble, Cohen at 6'2 and hovering around 16st was a hulk of a man and capable of destroying players as well as speeding round them.

His England career saw him win a World Cup and Six Nations grand slams. He scored 31 tries in 57 appearances for his country and proved he could score against the best in the world time and again. He was a British and Irish Lion, scored over 100 tries for Northampton Saints, won a Heineken Cup and regularly has his photo taken.

While his career is not necessarily over, it is certainly on the cards. He is the wrong side of 30, and there are probably few clubs who feel he could benefit their team in the long run. He arrived to great fanfare and celebration from the club and while the party line is that they are simply cutting the budget, it is imagined that the loss of a "marquee signing" could hurt the club even more. The Championship ( a very real threat given that Exeter are refusing to play ball by winning matches) is cold, lonely place to be, and Edgeley Park is horrible enough already. The sideways rain and sub-arctic temperatures are barely tolerable when you watching some impressive rugby, they will be considered a war-crime when supporters are made to endure watching Rotherham eke out a 3-0 victory.

Look at the misery...

So Ben... Thanks for the memories, and we wish you the best of luck in your next career move.


Oh, and if you are looking for a club, I am sure Preston Grasshoppers would welcome you with open arms. Drop by anytime.



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